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Guest AJProductions

looking 4 feedback to some lines

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Guest AJProductions

I'm snitchin' blingbling like the g'z in New York,

and ur mama is a milf thats why i feel me so hot,

and i'm the leader of ur children gang but,

im not pedophile like grandpas in a lindsay fanclub,

ppl names me T.I. cuz' i'm wearing an expensive crown on my head,

i bought it few days ago wit money from the weed which grows on my flat

im not the best rapper but feedback would be nice

maybe i will continue

Edited by AJProductions

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honestly, it needs work, homie.

A lot of it doesn't rhyme and has too many words to flow well...

I'm snitchin' blingbling like the g'z in New York,

-what does snitchin' blingbling mean? I don't understand

and ur mama is a milf thats why i feel me so hot,

- 'that's why I feel me so hot' sounds awkward

and i'm the leader of ur children gang but,

im not pedophile like grandpas in a lindsay fanclub,

- doesn't rhyme and...well...kinda weird. haha...plus we won't know WHICH lindsay

ppl names me T.I. cuz' i'm wearing an expensive crown on my head,

- names you TI? or CALL you TI because of the crown...too many syllables

i bought it few days ago wit money from the weed which grows on my flat

- doesn't rhyme with the previous line and too many syllables.

don't necessarily give up yet, man...u just need some work.

keep at it and keep getting feedback

God Bless,

Ess

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Guest AJProductions

thank u man

im not the best rapper i know

im only a beatproducer ;)

hollaa

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